


Wedding, Deconstructed

by sherleigh



Category: SHINee
Genre: Multi, Weddings, fluff and sunshine all the way through, not the red type haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 20:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15980213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherleigh/pseuds/sherleigh
Summary: a wedding, told in non-linear drabbles





	Wedding, Deconstructed

**Winter, White**

 

Kibum is the last to know.

 

Taemin rambles on, unaware of the bombshell he’s dropped. “-so can you please convince Jonghyun-hyung do a different colour scheme? Minho hyung agrees with me and he won’t listen to Jinki-hyung’s fashion advice anyway… are you listening to me?”

 

Kibum swallows. “He hasn’t told me anything yet.”

 

“What, about the theme? You can just-”

 

“No, I mean, about the wedding. About anything.”

 

There’s a long silence on the other side. Kibum imagines the face Taemin must be making as he kicks himself mentally. “Uh… can we pretend this call never happened? Please? Jonghyun-hyung will kill me.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Kibum just wants to get off the phone. “Bye.”

 

So the day has finally come.

 

Kim Jonghyun is getting married.

 

**Cake**

 

The cake is taller than the groom. The bride too, but well, grooms aren’t usually quite as petite as this particular one. Kibum stares in a mix of awe and horror as the baker wheels the thing in on a low trolley and wonders whose idea it was.

 

It’s not to say that the cake isn’t magnificent; it’s a towering white wonder, decorated with trailing vines of delicate little flowers and a dusting of what looks like snow but must be icing sugar. It certainly suits the theme of the wedding but for a ceremony as small and private as this one, there’s sure to be more cake than guests to eat said cake.

 

“Oh, it’s here!”

 

Kibum turns to see Sojin and behind her, her husband.

 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks him.

 

“Did you order this?”

 

She nods. “Yes, it’s our wedding present to him. I really wanted to give him something lavish, you know… I mean, I guess you’re his bandmate so you wouldn’t feel this way, but he always lets us take advantage of him. Everytime we meet up he pays. He buys us really fancy gifts for our birthdays and I know he says not to feel burdened by it, but I guess it just feels nice to be able to give him something expensive in return.”

 

“Don’t worry, I understand. It’s really beautiful, I’m sure he’ll love it.”

 

Just then, Sodam comes over. “Oh, Sojin-ah, the cake is amazing!”

 

Kibum takes his leave as the two women greet each other. The cake stands by the altar like a snow-covered mountain and Kibum suddenly thinks of the Taj Mahal, that famed monument of a man’s love for his mistress. He learned about it in school and he’s seen the photos Minho took when he filmed some show or another in India, but he’s never truly understood why people do silly things like build giant mausoleums for their lovers, not until now. It’s when there aren’t words in any human language that can express how much you love someone and wish for their happiness and you just want to do something completely unnecessary and extravagant for them to give them some evidence of that love.

 

**Sunset Confessions**

 

Jonghyun finds him just as he’s about to head up to his room. “Ah, Kibum! You’re here!”

 

“Yeah, I’m just going to-” but Kibum never gets to finish his sentence because Jonghyun grabs him by the hand and drags him towards the entrance again. “Yah, what-”

 

“You’re just in time!” Jonghyun’s in that happy, excitable mood of his. “Come on, the sunsets here are amazing, you have to see it.”

 

“I have to shower,” Kibum protests, half-hearted. “Anyway, shouldn’t you be watching the sunset with your wife?”

 

“She’s my fiancée right now, not my wife yet,” Jonghyun answers. “And we’ve been here for a three days already, we’ve seen the sunset and sunrise and moon too. And we have so much to catch up on, I haven’t seen you in ages.”

 

Jonghyun leads him out into the garden. Even though Kibum was here not ten minutes ago, sharing a beer with Minho, the setting sun casts it in an entirely new light. In the deep red light, the snow on the mountaintops looks like it’s on fire. The valley below, where the village sits, is already dark, but there’ still a glimmer of sunshine left in the horizon.

 

“This world is full of beautiful things, isn’t it?” Jonghyun says.

 

“Yes,” Kibum agrees. He’s nowhere near as poetic as Jonghyun, he doesn’t really have the words to describe how he feels right now.

 

“And full of loved ones to share them with.” Jonghyun drapes his arm over Kibum’s shoulder. “You look good. I was worried, you know.”

 

“Heechul survived.”

 

“Nevertheless, I worried. I know I asked you to help with the styling and stuff, but don’t stress out too much about it, okay? This place is beautiful and we have it to ourselves for a week, so treat it like a holiday.”

 

“I will, then. Congratulations, by the way, I don’t think I’ve said that yet.”

 

Jonghyun laughs. “Thank you. I can’t believe it’s really happening, you know? Like, there was a time when I thought I’d be married by the time I was twenty-five, and then there was a time when I thought I’d never get married at all, and all of a sudden I’m tasting cakes and doing seating arrangements.”

 

Are you happy?

 

Kibum’s been wanting to ask Jonghyun since the news broke, but seeing him here now, glowing brighter than the dying rays of the sun, he already knows the answer.

 

**Something Old, Something New**

 

It had been Jinki’s idea for the groomsmen to do an event based on the old wedding adage of ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’, since Jonghyun didn’t want a regular stag do.

 

Sentimental old buggers, the lot of them. If you asked Kibum – pity no one had – stag nights are best enjoyed with plenty of alcohol, loud music and party food. It’s a chance for the wedding participants to let loose a little in the midst of the raging emotions of the wedding planning and the actual wedding day.

 

Then again, Jonghyun would hate a regular stag do, so Jinki was probably right to suggest a simple dinner party at one of the restaurants in the village instead. To be fair, Kibum had enjoyed the evening. It was just them, a couple of their managers and some of Jonghyun’s old friends. As the sake flowed, so had the stories.

 

And now they’re back at the hotel, just the five of them.

 

Jonghyun should know them well enough by now to know that they’ve got something planned for him. And he does, judging by the way he doesn’t question why they’ve all followed him to his room.

 

“I know you told us not to get you things-” Jinki starts, and Jonghyun groans. Jinki soldiers on “-but it’s our right as groomsmen to buy presents, and you just have to accept them. So there.”

 

“Guys, I just wanted your company at my wedding. That’s all,” Jonghyun says, but he’s smiling all the same. “Honestly, it’s not like I’m short of things.”

 

“I’ll go first,” Jinki says. He pulls out a bag and hands it to Jonghyun. “My present is something old.”

 

“Something old?” Jonghyun pulls the bag handles apart and peeks in, and then he guffaws. “Oh my god, what is this?”

 

“What is it?” Minho asks, pulling at the bag. “A hoodie?”

 

“The Hoodie,” Jinki intones, imitating seriousness.

 

Kibum glances at Taemin, hoping to that he isn’t alone in not knowing what is going on. Taemin looks lost too, but he’s also red in the face from all the wine he drunk earlier; he’s probably forgotten his own name by now.

 

“What’s so special about this hoodie?”

 

Jonghyun finally takes it out of the bag. It’s obviously a relic of their debut days, because that’s the only time Jonghyun would have fit into a hoodie of that size. It’s red and black and Kibum has a vague memory of seeing Jonghyun wear it, but he can’t quite make sense of why Jinki would be giving this as his gift.

 

“I don’t know whether anyone else remembers, but it was one of the first fan gifts we got. And the fan didn’t specify who it was supposed to go to, so I decided to take it since I didn’t have a hoodie and I was the one who opened it anyway.” Jinki looks apologetic. “I mean, it was too big for Kibum or Taemin, so I guessed that there was a good chance it was for me.”

 

“It was obviously for me because we had a radio interview just a few days earlier and I said clearly that my favourite colours were red and black.”

 

“So we had this silent war over the hoodie. If I saw it somewhere, I’d wear it.”

 

“And if I saw it, I’d wear it. And then one day it just disappeared.”

 

“I took it home, but then I felt bad so I didn’t wear it.”

 

Jonghyun hugs the hoodie to his chest. “Thank you.”

 

“I’m next,” Minho says, holding out a huge bag. “My present is something new.”

 

Now Jonghyun catches on. “Like the saying? Wow, whose idea was this?”

 

Jinki puts a hand up. “You should thank me,” he says. “Kibum wanted to get you a stripper.”

 

“A male stripper,” Kibum clarifies. “One last… well…”

 

Kibum is saved from the awkwardness of explaining why Jonghyun would want a male stripper by Taemin. He’s shucking his jacket off and struggling with the button on his shirt collar and really, Kibum’s seen this enough times to know that this will end in Taemin in his underwear sprawled across someone else’s bed.

 

“How the fuck did he get so drunk?” Minho asks. “Seriously, he didn’t drink all that much.”

 

Kibum takes pity on Taemin and undoes his collar for him, and pulls him over to Jonghyun’s bed. “Here, sit for a while.”

 

Jonghyun pats Taemin’s thigh before opening Minho’s bag. He throws out wads and wads of paper and finally surfaces with a small key. “What’s this?”

 

“It’s the key to a bike lock,” Minho explains. “Specifically, the bike lock which is keeping your new bike secure in the parking lot.”

 

“A bike?” Jonghyun repeats, a little loudly. “You bought me a bike?”

 

Minho shrugs. “Well, since I stole the last one…”

 

Jonghyun’s smiling really widely now. “You were caught by Sherlock-wols. After the whole rant I wrote on Twitter about hoping the thief falls off the bike, imagine how shocked I was to see that it was you.”

 

Kibum’s not quite aware of this either, but it sounds funny enough.

 

“Thank you, Minho-yah. I’ll enjoy it.”

 

And now it’s time for his present. For some reason, Kibum feels nervous. He pulls out a familiar, battered T-Money card from his inner breast pocket. “Something borrowed.”

 

Jonghyun remembers it instantly. He takes it from Kibum with a look of wonder. “Wow, you’ve kept this for so long? Do you know how may of these I lose in a year?”

 

“It’s not mine to lose.”

 

Jonghyun’s eyes soften. “I told you to have it. It was yours from that point on.”

 

“Can you guys stop making googly eyes at each other and tell us the story?” Taemin interrupts, frowning when Minho shushes him. “What, like you’re not curious?”

 

“When we trainees, there was one weekend when I wanted to go back to Daegu to see my grandmother, but I didn’t have enough cash for a ticket. Jonghyun didn’t have cash either, but he had this card and he lent it to me.”

 

“I didn’t lend it to you, I said you could have it.”

 

“And I kept it safely all this while, but I think it’s time to give it back.” Kibum doesn’t just mean the card. Jonghyun knows. The others can probably tell too, but this is between him and Jjong.

 

“Thank you.” Jonghyun tucks it away in his breast pocket. How pathetically sentimental of the both of them, Kibum thinks, instinctively keeping this flimsy card right next to their hearts. He wipes the tears gathering in his eyes and pretends not to notice Jonghyun doing the same thing.

 

“Yah, Taeminnie, it’s your turn,” Kibum says, cursing how thick his voice sounds.

 

“Oh!” Taemin springs from the bed and pulls an envelope from Kibum’s bag. “My present to you is supposed to be something blue. Do you know how hard it was to figure out what to buy?”

 

Jonghyun nods, eyeing the envelope, but honestly, it’s so hard for Kibum to resist pointing out that ‘something blue’ is the easiest of the four parts of the saying – that’s why everyone agreed to assign that part to him. Taemin can get away with giving Jonghyun a blue anything; handkerchief, jelly, hell, even a simple blue pen.

 

“So here.” Taemin hands the envelope to Jonghyun, who opens it to take out what looks like some official letter.

 

“Uh…” Jonghyun says, flipping through the pages. “Um, what?”

 

“What did you do?” Jinki asks, sounding half-horrified.

 

“I bought him a whale,” Taemin explains proudly.

 

“He really did,” Jonghyun says. “Well, he adopted a blue whale through the Pacific Whale Foundation in my name. Apparently I’ll get updates and photographs every year. And a plushie?” Jonghyun raises an eyebrow at Taemin.

 

“You get a whale, I get to keep the plushie.” Taemin shuffles closer to Jonghyun, leaning over his shoulder. “Did you see her name?”

 

“Uhmmm…” Jonghyun flips through the papers again, but Taemin beats him to it. “I named her Blue Night, after your show.”

 

“This is wonderful,” Jonghyun says, eyes shining. “It’s really meaningful, Taeminnie. Thank you. All of you. Seriously, you’re all wonderful.”

 

“You’re wonderful too,” Jinki replies. “And now it’s time for us to get to bed, because tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”

 

**A Most Welcome Diversion**

 

“Come on, let’s get cleaned up.”

 

Taemin mumbles a complaint that Kibum doesn’t catch and stretches lazily, and really, that’s hardly playing fair. His body is lean and defined and the marks Kibum left on him – hips, thighs, that one spot between his shoulders – tease him. He’s just come, but the sight is arousing all the same.

 

“It’s late, Taemin-ah. I need to sleep if I’m going to function tomorrow.”

 

Taemin sighs and sits up. “Yeah, yeah, I’m going.”

 

Kibum pulls him in for one last kiss, licks hungrily into his mouth and sucks on his fat bottom lip until they’re both short of breath. He wants to tell Taemin to bear with him for a few more days, that they don’t need to steal the spotlight from Jonghyun with this thing – this new, fragile thing – between them, but he’s said all of that already and there’s no need for words right now, not in the wake of all they’ve done.

 

Taemin showers and dresses quickly, efficiently, and stops to steal one more kiss from Kibum before leaving.

 

Kibum shuts the door behind him and returns to his bed, where he can still smell Taemin in the sheets and on the pillow – where, if he closes his eyes, he can still see the way Taemin arched under him, head tipped back and neck bared – and counts down the hours until he can see Taemin again in the morning.

 

**RSVP**

 

Minho’s the best man, not him.

 

It is at once a mercy and a cruel blow. After all, it wasn’t Minho that used to sit up all night sharing secrets with an insomniac Jonghyun. It isn’t Minho that can read the smallest twitch of his brow or follow the whimsical dance of his thoughts. If anyone deserves to be best man, it’s Kibum.

 

And yet.

 

In a way, he’s grateful. No pre-wedding pep talk, no awkward best man’s speech, no dealing with narrow-minded relatives and their barely disguised disapproval. No, Kibum’s free to sit in a corner and drown his what-ifs in alcohol.

 

“You’ll have to let me know whether you can make it by the end of the week,” Jonghyun says.

 

“Of course I’ll be there,” Kibum replies. As much as he likes to wallow in self-pity, he’s genuinely happy for Jonghyun. No matter how melancholic it might make him, there’s no way Kibum would miss a second of his wedding. “I’ll book my flight right away. Yah, do you have any idea how expensive the ticket is going to be? Couldn’t you have told me earlier?”

 

“Well, consider it repayment for the really expensive jeans I bought you.” Goodness, he’s never going to let that go, is he? “And I told you as soon as we locked the dates down.”

 

The casual ease with which Jonghyun lies turns Kibum’s stomach. “Yeah, yeah… listen, I’ve gotta run-”

 

“Sure. See you th-”

 

He hangs up first.

 

It’s been a whole month since Taemin let the news slip.

 

**Suit Up**

 

Halfway through the fitting session, Kibum wants to cry.

 

He’d gladly accepted when Jonghyun asked him to help style the groomsmen for the wedding and reception. Since Nayoung had picked the colour palette for each event already, much of Kibum’s work had already been done for him. It would be a bit of fun, he thought, and a small gift he could give one of his oldest and closest friends for his wedding.

 

That was before.

 

Now, it’s mid-afternoon; the fitting was supposed to end before lunch. Jinki has bloated for reasons no one can figure out and he can’t fit into the suits tailored for him, Minho looks so good – too good – that Kibum is genuinely worried that he’ll outshine Jonghyun and Taemin still can’t figure out how to wear his waistcoat and cummerbund correctly.

 

“Hey, Jinki-hyung and I are going out to grab a bite, you want anything?”

 

Minho looks so relaxed, the bastard. Kibum shakes his head. “Don’t let yeonggam eat ramyeon… or udon, or anything-”

 

“-that’ll bloat him even more?” Minho nods. “I’ll keep an eye on him. Sure you don’t want anything? I know you skipped breakfast.”

 

Kibum is about to ask him for a salad or yakitori, but he’s interrupted by a loud thump coming from the changing room that Taemin’s in. Then another one. He groans instead and Minho squeezes his shoulder sympathetically before leaving.

 

“YAH, Lee Taemin!” Kibum raises his fist to bang on the door when it swings open and he’s suddenly yanked inside, flush against Taemin.

 

“Finally,” Taemin breathes, clutching a fistful of Kibum’s neatly ironed shirt. “I was going to rip something next.”

 

“I will strangle you,” Kibum hisses, kicking the door shut and shoving Taemin into the wall. “You nearly gave me a stroke.”

 

Taemin laughs. “Did you really think I couldn’t figure out how to wear a simple waistcoat?” He fiddles with the buttons on Kibum’s waistcoat, popping them open one by one. “Thank you, by the way.”

 

“For what?”

 

“I asked you to talk Jonghyun-hyung out of white suits, and you did.”

 

It’s true that their suits aren’t white anymore. They’re ivory with gold filigree; for the wedding itself, their waistcoats will be pale gold, but for the reception they’ll be lavender. It’s a gorgeous colour scheme.

 

“It wasn’t me.”

 

Taemin huffs. “You’re too modest.”

 

He untucks Kibum’s shirt, slipping his hands under the fabric to press them to Kibum’s back, and it’s that electric meeting of skin and skin that jolts Kibum back to his senses. “Not here.”

 

“I know, I’m not…” Taemin huffs again. “I just… you look so good in this and I’ve been wanting to kiss you since you walked in, but you wouldn’t stop fussing over everyone else.”

 

It’s amazing, how Taemin can compliment and insult him in the same breath. Kibum laughs lightly, tucking his face against Taemin’s shoulder as he feels the stress of the day ebb away. “I don’t even know why I’m so stressed.”

 

“Because you’re a perfectionist?” Taemin’s still got his hands under Kibum’s shirt, stroking softly, but where the atmosphere was sexually charged just moments ago, it’s tender now. “And you care enough about Jonghyun-hyung that you want everything to be perfect for him, but, from one perfectionist to another? Everything’s fine. We all look good. I know how to wear my clothes. Onew-hyung will unbloat in time for the wedding, like he did for all our concerts, and even if he doesn’t, us groomsmen are just scenery. Everyone’s going to be watching Jonghyun and Nayoung, not us.”

 

“Aigoo, when did you become so wise?” That earns him a sharp pinch, one Kibum admits is deserved; Taemin isn’t a child anymore and he is wise, despite the playful face he puts on as a part of his public persona.

 

But this Taemin, who cleverly trapped him in his dressing room and who understands him well enough to soothe his frustrations, this is a Taemin that only a privileged few get to see. Kibum rewards this Taemin with one brief kiss, then another.

 

**Touch the Sky**

 

It’s up the arse-end of nowhere, this resort that Jonghyun picked as the venue for his wedding. Kibum’s just out of the army, so he’s as fit as he’s ever been, but he’s out of breath by the time he hikes his way up the sloping road with all of his luggage.

 

The ryokan itself is pretty exclusive; 21 rooms, and Jonghyun’s booked them all. It’s got a reputation for being the preferred getaway spot for reclusive millionaires. There aren’t many photos of the place online, so Kibum can’t wait to see what it looks like. So far, it seems scenic enough. Remote too. As soon as he’s in sight of the front porch, porters hurry out to take his luggage. Kibum relinquishes his burdens gladly and turns around to survey the venue.

 

It’s beautiful.

 

Everything – the roof, the trees, the mountains – is covered in snow. The air is crisp and almost sweet in its freshness. The afternoon sun shines down gently, bright enough to reflect off the snow but not warm enough to melt it yet. It almost feels like he’s opened the door to Narnia.

 

How long he stands there in awe of the magnificence of nature, he doesn’t know.

 

“Kibum-ah!”

 

Minho’s call, so full of life and warmth, pulls Kibum back into the world. He takes a quick breath, puts his game face back on, and turns around to greet Minho. “Hey, you bastard, you could have given me a little warning that the hill would be hell to walk up.”

 

Minho laughs. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it. Are you up for a beer or do you want to go to your room first?”

 

Kibum’s somewhat tired after the climb, and somewhat sweaty too, despite the cold weather; he absolutely wants to shower and change – and perhaps lie down for a few minutes too – before doing any socialising. Despite all of this, he still finds himself accepting Minho’s invitation for a drink. There’s something about this place, about why they’re all gathered here, that makes him want to take the time to just be without worrying about what he needs or wants to do.

 

“Let’s drink outside,” Minho says, draping an arm around his shoulders. “They have nice beer garden where you can see down into the village.”

 

**Pebbles in a Stream**

 

Taemin’s staring at him. Again.

 

Kibum gets that they haven’t seen each other in two years, but it’s starting to creep him out. Perhaps he should have gone on that hike with Jonghyun, Jinki and Minho instead of coming into town, where he’d run into Taemin just as the latter was exiting the railway station. Perhaps he should have let Taemin continue on to the ryokan instead of inviting him for lunch and drinks.

 

“You just finished a concert tour, right?”

 

Taemin nods. “Yeah, the last date was after Christmas.”

 

“What’s next?”

 

“Rest,” Taemin says definitively, before laughing a little. “I don’t know how Jinki-hyung kept up with our concerts, honestly. Sometimes I think we were really cruel to him.”

 

“Jonghyun’s less than 6 months younger than him. They’re practically the same age,” Kibum argues, even though he agrees with Taemin. “But somehow we never pitied him, even when he complained…”

 

“I guess he never visibly struggled with the choreography, but Jinki-hyung really did. Still, that’s a good point. What was hard for Jinki-hyung must have been hard on Jonghyun-hyung too. Wow, I wonder how he kept that up.”

 

“You know how he pushes himself,” Kibum replies. “He always talks about being comfortable with what you can do and stuff, but he can never accept his own limits.”

 

And there it is again; Taemin’s staring at him as if he’s a specimen under a microscope. “Do you think it’s only Jonghyun-hyung who pushes himself?”

 

Kibum shrugs. “I mean, I know you do too, but you’re younger-”

 

“You constantly push against your limits too. Like, when Minho-hyung was doing dramas, you were in stage plays and you said you couldn’t do dramas. Then you did one and you were like fucktons better than Minho.” It’s been such a long time that Kibum’s forgotten saying these things. “Then you said you couldn’t write lyrics – no wait, you said that God hadn’t given you the ability to write lyrics, then suddenly you started and then your name was everywhere as lyricist.”

 

“It wasn’t like I tried-”

 

“And then you always say that you hate exercising, but holy shit, do you have any idea how hot you are now?”

 

That leaves Kibum speechless for a moment. Taemin gets embarrassed too, by the way he drops Kibum’s gaze and takes a long drink.

 

“It’ll be your turn soon,” Kibum murmurs. Being in the army was simultaneously better and worse than he imagined; the physical strain wasn’t anything he couldn’t cope with, but being treated like cattle was difficult to accept. He knows Taemin will be able to cope with the harsh physical regimen, just like he did. He doesn’t want to think about how someone as coddled as Taemin is will be able to bear the mental strain. “And then I’ll make weird comments about how hot you are.”

 

“You already do,” Taemin retorts. “You always say you want my body. And when they asked us who had the best body in SHINee, you said it was mine because I was slim with a bit of butt.”

 

Kibum can’t help it, he starts laughing. He remembers saying that, but it must have been eight years ago. Taemin can’t remember where he keeps his phone from one minute to the next, can’t remember their schedules at all, but he remembers this one offhand comment from a lifetime away. “Why are you so weird?” he chokes out, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I forgot what a rollercoaster it is to talk to you sometimes.”

 

Taemin’s laughing too.

 

Perhaps this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

 

**Green**

 

It’s usually cause for concern when the bride comes looking for a groomsmen after midnight. Kibum’s at a loss for words when Nayoung calls on him just as he’s about to go to bed; he’s expecting Taemin instead.

 

“Can I speak to you, just for a while?”

 

“Uh, sure.” Kibum lets her in, feeling self-conscious for being in his pyjamas when she’s still formally dressed. She stands in the middle of his room, looking as uncomfortable as he feels. If she’s looking for someone to calm her pre-wedding jitters, Kibum’s a really odd choice. They’ve only met a couple of times before, and always in a group setting. “How can I help?”

 

She looks nervous and Kibum can almost guess the trainwreck of a question that she’s going to ask him.

 

“Does Jonghyun still have feelings for you?”

 

And there it is.

 

Kibum sighs. “Shouldn’t you be asking him?”

 

She shrugs. “I can’t lose him, but I don’t mind pissing you off.”

 

It’s not the nicest thing to say, but Kibum appreciates her honesty. “Look, maybe he had feelings for me, back when we were a new band and stuck with each other practically 24 hours a day. We never talked about, never pursued it, never kissed or dated or anything else people imagine we’ve done. I seriously doubt that he has any feelings for me now.”

 

“You know how we tell people that we waited over a year after he proposed because we were pre-planning the wedding?” And yes, Kibum knows; he’s had to hear that story practically every single day that he’s been here. “That’s a lie. Jonghyun wanted to wait until you were done with your enlistment.”

 

“Minho came out about the same time I did. It makes sense that he’d wait for his best man-”

 

“He didn’t mention Minho, only you. Everything about the wedding, from the flowers to the theme to the music, it’s all ‘Kibum would say this’, ‘Kibum would pick this’ and I thought, fine, he respects your opinions.”

 

“We have the same taste,” Kibum explains.

 

“And then you turn up and it’s like the two of you are soulmates or something. It’s not just him, it’s you too.” She shakes her head. “You look at him when he’s not looking at you, he looks at you when you’re not looking at him… honestly, it’d be cute if he wasn’t supposed to be my husband.”

 

“I’m not trying to-”

 

“I didn’t say you were. But what if he gets cold feet at the last minute? Everytime he looks at you I’m afraid that he’s going to feel that this wedding is a mistake.”

 

“I’m not here to ruin your wedding.” Kibum doesn’t know what else to say. Nayoung is right; if anyone at this wedding is capable of making Jonghyun question his decision, it’s him. “I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

 

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

 

“I would die for him,” Kibum answers truthfully. “Just as I would for Jinki, Minho and Taemin. What do you feel for him?”

 

“I love him.” Unspoken at the end of that sentence is you idiot, as if he should know better than to ask; as if the answer is clear already.

 

“Why?”

 

Nayoung’s eyes soften then. “How can I not? He’s so full of life, so warm and kind and frustrating too, I’ll admit that. He has such a different way of looking at the wrold. He’s so intelligent and curious and… this is ridiculous, if I stand here listing the reasons why I love him we’d be here until the sun comes up.”

 

“He’s still that person you fell in love with,” Kibum says then, not unkindly. “He’s not going to abandon you, least of all for me.”

 

Saying the words exhausts Kibum. It forces him to confront an unpleasant truth that’s been haunting him since Taemin let the news slip; that in a different world, maybe this would be his wedding too. Maybe in a different world, Jonghyun is his soulmate and they get to have a fairytale wedding followed by domesticity.

 

But not this one.

 

**Suit Up II**

 

“What do you think?”

 

Beautiful.

 

“It fits.” Kibum shakes his head and looks Jonghyun over again, this time with practiced detachment. The white and gold theme suits him beautifully; accentuates the deep gold tone of his skin and the pristine bleach of his hair. He looks royal, almost elfin.

 

“I was hoping to make a better impression than ‘it fits’.”

 

“The groom shouldn’t take attention away from the bride-” Kibum starts to say, but Jonghyun cuts him off.

 

“Why not? It’s my wedding too. Are men not allowed to want to look good for their wedding?”

 

“Fine!” Kibum throws his hands up. “You look absolutely stunning. This is the best colour scheme for a winter wedding on a Japanese mountain-top and I’m so fucking jealous that I didn’t think of it first.”

 

That makes Jonghyun laugh. “I knew it! Anyway, how are your suits coming along? Are the rest of the guys happy with it? You wouldn’t believe how Taemin complained my ear off when I said the theme was white.”

 

That offhand comment turns Kibum’s mood bitter. “Yeah, ours are fine.”

 

If Jonghyun picks up on his change of mood, he doesn’t let it show. “You’re sure it’s fine? It doesn’t make me look fat or short or anything?”

 

“You’re probably the only person in the world who doesn’t look fat in white. Even Taemin does.” Kibum makes a twirl gesture, and Jonghyun complies. “Yes, you look great. Don’t put on weight, I guess. Or lose it, your butt is as flat as a plank as it is, if you lose any weight it’ll probably be concave. Just stay like this. Now go try the reception outfit.”

 

Jonghyun in ivory and lavender looks even more gorgeous. He knows it too, because he almost bounces out of the dressing room in excitement. “Wow, this suit is really daebak!”

 

“It really is,” Kibum agrees. “Nayoung is a genius.”

 

“That’s why I’m marrying her.”

 

Jonghyun looks so happy then. Kibum remembers a time when he was lonely and depressed, convinced that he would never experience the joy of being head-over-heels in love, and he can’t begrudge Jonghyun a single moment of this happiness. “She should have been a stylist.”

 

“She really could have, right?” Jonghyun starts telling him a story about Nayoung, but Kibum misses most of it; he’s too busy watching the dancing light in Jonghyun’s eyes.

 

**Tasting Menu**

 

_Zensai: fried lotus root topped with scallop and roe_

_Osuimono: faux shark fin soup_

_Otsukuri: tuna, fatty tuna, salmon and octopus sashimi_

_Nimono: taro and shiitake mushrooms boiled in seafood stock_

_Yakimono: fried pumpkin slices dusted with salted egg yolk_

_Mushimono: steamed egg curd seasoned with preserved chilies and dried shrimp_

_Agemono: deep fried oyster served on an enoki mushroom fan_

_Gohen: wild pine mushroom rice_

_Tsukemono: selection of pickled root vegetables_

_Misoshiru: bamboo shoot miso_

_Koudamono: yubari melon_

_Amami: yatsuhashi_

 

Everyone is still reading the menu. Kibum waits for a moment, but when no one even looks up, he’s forced to speak. “This isn’t a good idea.”

 

Now he’s got the attention of the entire tasting party: Jonghyun, Nayoung, Minho and two of Nayoung’s friends. He’s a celebrity used to being the centre of attention, but he wishes he were elsewhere right now. Jonghyun at least looks curious; Nayoung looks like she’s a heartbeat away from stabbing him with the toothpicks the caterer has so thoughtfully placed next to each plate. He has no idea what he’s done to earn her dislike, but it’s really unsettling.

 

“There’s more than ten courses. It’s going to take about two hours to get through the entire menu, assuming that your guests just sit in place and eat, which is not going to happen.”

 

“These are the courses of a traditional Japanese wedding.” It’s Ha Na, the maid of honour. “People have been doing it for aeons without any trouble.”

 

Kibum shrugs. “I mean, if you’re okay with your guests leaving at four-ish in the afternoon, then it could work.”

 

“What would you suggest?” Jonghyun asks.

 

“Well, reduce it to eight courses?” Kibum looks through the menu again. “There’s two soups here, maybe just stick to one? Do you really need a whole course just for pickles? Also, you could serve the fruit and the wagashi together, you don’t have to split it into two courses.”

 

Ha Na looks like she’s about to argue, but Nayoung speaks first. “That’s actually a really good idea. I guess we can decide which courses to keep after trying them.”

 

“Yeah, let’s eat first!” Minho sounds so enthusiastic that Kibum – and Nayoung’s friends – laugh. Minho laughs at himself too. “I skipped breakfast to make space for lunch, so I’m really hungry.”

 

**Temptation**

 

Because he’s got some bad karma to pay off – or perhaps luck just isn’t on his side today – Kibum winds up eating at the same restaurant for dinner that he had lunch in with Taemin. The other three had returned from their hike wanting to sample the locally brewed sake the restaurant is known for, and no amount of whining or cajoling could convince them to switch to the Western café on the same street.

 

The drinks flow freely. Jonghyun doesn’t drink much – he never does – but Jinki and Minho are generous with their own portions. They can be; they have good tolerance and they hadn’t been drinking in the afternoon, unlike Kibum and Taemin.

 

Kibum can hold his liquor pretty well too. The same can’t be said of Taemin.

 

And the others, screw the lot of them, then decide that he should be responsible for getting Taemin back to his room; it’s only fair, they say, because he was the one who had lowered Taemin’s already low tolerance by making him drink in the afternoon. Taemin, being Taemin, doesn’t make the task easy on him at all. He can barely stand up straight, both inebriated and tired from travelling, and flops uselessly in Kibum’s hold until Kibum gets so fed up that he picks him up and carries him to his room.

 

“Wow, hyung, you’re so strong,” Taemin mumbles. “So hot.”

 

“You’re being creepy again,” Kibum replies. He slides the door to Taemin’s room open and considers throwing Taemin onto the bed; an idea he dismisses as quickly as it occurs to him. Drunk people and sudden movements are not a happy pairing. He doesn’t need to create a bigger mess to deal with.

 

Instead, Kibum lays Taemin on the bed gently, even though it hurts his back to bend over with such a heavy load.

 

Taemin catches his arm before he can stand up.

 

“Yah, Taem-”

 

And cuts his complaint off with a kiss.

 

Kibum is so shocked that freezes. Taemin tugs at him, pulling him closer, and it’s only then that Kibum shoves him away. “What the fuck?”

 

Taemin catches his arm again. “Fuck me,” he says. Pleads.

 

It’s insane. Kibum struggles to free his hands from Taemin’s grasp. “Look, you’re drunk-”

 

“I’m just drunk enough to dare to say this, but not so drunk that I don’t understand what I’m asking for.” Taemin mouths at his jaw, and god, he does it so perfectly that Kibum’s knees nearly give way. “You’ve been driving me crazy all day.”

 

“We can’t.”

 

“We’re don’t work together anymore. I haven’t seen you in two years. I’m just… like a stranger in the street. This won’t change things between us.”

 

For someone who couldn’t even walk to his room, Taemin sure can talk. And Kibum must be going crazy, because he’s actually tempted. But Taemin is right and wrong at the same time. It’s not like they have much of a relationship to protect anymore, but if he thinks that he’s just a stranger in the street to Kibum, well, then he doesn’t know Kibum at all.

 

“Come on,” Taemin whines, tugging at Kibum and squeezing his biceps. “Pin me down and fuck me. I’m sure you can.”

 

Who could have guessed that Taemin has a soldier fetish?

 

In the dark of the room, Taemin’s eyes shine. His lips are full, wet, and Kibum drags his thumb over them. His heart is racing. This is such a bad idea, he keeps telling himself, but he can’t deny that he wants so badly what Taemin is offering so freely.

 

His weakness being so obvious, Taemin tries again. He brushes Kibum’s hand off his lips and reaches for another kiss. Kibum lets him have it, testing the water. It feels so good. Taemin’s a good kisser; more than that, he can’t be this good if he’s really drunk off his face. That, at least, is something Kibum can stop worrying about.

 

Now that he’s broken past the first wall of Kibum’s resistance, Taemin pushes further; he picks at the buttons on Kibum’s shirt, and Kibum allows that too.

 

But when Taemin tries to push him down onto the bed, Kibum catches his wrist and pins him down instead. “I don’t think so,” Kibum says, low, “you know, you should be careful what you wish for.”

 

Taemin puts up a pretense of resistance, but the sparkle in his eyes give him away. He’s gotten exactly what he wants.

 

As it turns out, it’s what Kibum wants too.

 

**Vows**

 

They’ve written their own vows – of course they have, there’s no way Jonghyun would have settled on traditional vows and apparently Nayoung’s got a creative streak in her too – but whilst Nayoung had consulted her parents with her vows, Jonghyun had kept his a secret right up to now.

 

Minho, as groomsman, has been tasked with keeping the vows in an envelope with him until now, and he passes it to Jonghyun. Jonghyun breaks the seal and removes a few squares of heavy cardstock. That had been Kibum’s idea; it would allow Jonghyun and Nayoung to preserve their vows in a scrapbook far easier than if it had been written on flimsy paper.

 

“I bet you 10,000 won that he’ll cry,” Taemin whispers to Kibum.

 

Jinki, on Taemin’s other side, hears it and responds before Kibum can. “That’s a lousy bet. What about 10,000 won that when he cries, it’ll be snotty, messy crying instead of the single tear type?”

 

Kibum has no time to throw in his bet because Jonghyun starts talking.

 

“Nayoung-ah, I love you.”

 

Jonghyun pauses. Kibum’s breath is caught in his throat. The entire hall is breathless, silent.

 

“Today, we are getting married.”

 

Again, he pauses. Then he drops the cards. “Honestly, I wrote and rewrote my vows a hundred times in the past few days. I wanted to write you something beautiful and perfect, something that’s worthy of you, but I guess there are some things that words will never be able to fully capture.”

 

Kibum can see some of the guests shifting in their seats. People are funny; they love movies full of excitement and runaway marriages, but throw away some cue cards and suddenly everyone’s eyeing the exits.

 

“Nayoung-ah, I love you. I will always love you. No matter how much we fight, or how late we work, or whatever else comes up in between, I promise you that you will never doubt that my heart belongs to only you. I promise that you will never, ever doubt that you are loved and cherished.”

 

Well, hopefully that puts Nayoung’s heart at ease. Jonghyun is exceptionally attuned to emotions, so even if she didn’t say anything to him, he might have picked up on her insecurities. In the front row, both Jonghyun and Nayoung’s mothers discreetly wipe tears away.

 

“Nayoung-ah, there may come a day when my albums don’t sell well or my concerts don’t sell out. There may come a day when you won’t be able to say that I’m a celebrity anymore. But no matter what, I promise you that you will always have a roof over your head and plenty of food on the table. You will never have to worry about that.”

 

Nayoung’s father nods in approval. Kibum is impressed.

 

“No one knows what the future will hold. No one expects a heart attack or a falling piano-”

 

Dramatic bastard, Kibum thinks. Falling piano, seriously?

 

“-but no matter what the future brings, you will not face it alone. When you have a good day at work, I will welcome you home and tell you that you did well. When you have a bad day, I will wipe your tears and buy you chocolate. I will share your happiness, and when sadness comes, I will help you bear the burden. Whatever happens, we will face it together.”

 

Beside him, Taemin rubs his nose, hiding a sniffle. Before Kibum can move, Jinki’s already got a hand on Taemin’s back, patting him softly. Satisfied that Taemin is fine, Kibum turns his attention back to the ceremony.

 

Jonghyun’s still holding the mike. “Finally, let me just say: Nayoung-ah, I love you. If you think you’ve heard it a lot today, well, I promise that you’ll grow even more tired of it in the days to come. I’ll never stop saying it.”

 

Everyone applauds; not the polite applause that follows speeches like these, but heartfelt, thunderous applause. Trust Jonghyun to always win a crowd over. Actually, if Kibum were asked to describe Jonghyun’s vows in one word, he’d say that they’re very, very Jonghyun. They contain his values, what he perceives his responsibilities to be and what he wants from a relationship, all in the semi-serious, semi-playful, self-aware but not self-conscious way that’s practically trademarked to him now.

 

But he hadn’t cried. That’s a surprise.

 

Nayoung reaches out for the mike. Their fingers brush as Jonghyun hands it over to her. Kibum really hopes the photographer caught that.

 

“Ah…” Nayoung giggles nervously. “I’ll stick to my cue cards. I think Kibum will kill us if we both throw the cards away.”

 

Everyone laughs. It’s turning out to be a day full of surprises; after her midnight visit, Kibum couldn’t have imagined that Nayoung would be joking fondly about him. Perhaps Jonghyun’s vows, and the fact that they’re standing at the altar, must have reassured her.

 

She clears her throat and starts. “Jonghyun-ah-”

 

The crowd titters. It’s rather sweet, that they both chose the same endearment for each other. Kibum may not know Nayoung very well, but in the past few days, he’d begun to see why she’s captured his heart when so many others have failed.

 

“Jonghyun-ah, you’re like a fairy. When we met I never imagined that there could be people like you in the world. I never imagined that I would date, let alone marry, an idol.” Nayoung looks up at Jonghyun. “You are so kind. You have such a strong sense of justice, but you’re not judgmental at all. You see the best in others and you make them better people because no one can bear to let you down. You see the world differently from everyone else, and from you, I learnt to see it differently too. And it is beautiful.”

 

Behind Nayoung, Sodam wipes her eyes. Kibum catches her attention and nods at her, as if to say: it’s okay to cry, we took care of him all this while and now look at him, spreading his wings and flying free. She grins at him through her tears and Kibum’s eyes start watering too.

 

“So these are my vows to you: I will be hard so that you can be kind. I will be realistic so that you can be idealistic. I will be cynical so that you can be an optimist. I will protect your precious heart so that you can continue to touch so many lives. I will always stand by your side and no matter where this road leads us, I will do my best to make sure that you’ll only walk on a flower path from now on.”

 

As Nayoung speaks, Kibum can picture the life Jonghyun and Nayoung will live fulfilling their vows to each other. He can see them living in the house Jonghyun’s just bought in Hannam-dong. He can see Jonghyun working on his compositions late into the night in his little studio, taking a little break when Nayoung brings him a cup of hot tea. He can see Nayoung coming home from work to find Jonghyun cooking in the kitchen, making something ridiculously exotic like deep dish pizza or chili crab. He can imagine them turning the extra guest room into a little nursery, arguing over gender neutral colours and decorations while Nayoung’s belly slowly swells. He can imagine them running around the garden with a toddler and an elderly Roo; how lucky that child will be, to be born into such a loving family.

 

Kibum starts crying then, in earnest, and someone puts an arm around his shoulders. It’s Taemin; he tries to pull Kibum closer, into a hug, but Kibum doesn’t want to create a scene and draw any attention away from Jonghyun and Nayoung. He allows himself a moment – he’s so happy for Jonghyun, so why does it feel like his heart will break – and wipes his tears away.

 

The priest takes over and starts reading from the service, allowing Kibum some respite. In the front row, Jonghyun’s mother is still dabbing at her eyes, and many of the faces in the rows behind her are lined deep with emotion. Sojin and her husband look stoic, but grip each other’s hands tight.

 

Later, when the reception ends and they’re filing out into the garden for the photography session, Kibum tells Nayoung “Your vows were beautiful.”

 

She smiles at him; a wide, genuine smile. “Thank you.”

 

“Yah,” Jonghyun says “What about mine?”

 

“You’re a total drama queen,” Taemin replies on Kibum’s behalf. “Seriously, when you threw the cards I thought you were going to say that you couldn’t go through with the wedding.”

 

“That crossed my mind too,” Nayoung says with a laugh. “I think my father almost had a heart attack.”

 

“You guys are all bullies,” Jonghyun whines.

 

**Last Minute**

 

Seating cards. Floral centerpieces. Stands for microphones, with wires arranged carefully away from where clumsy feet can’t trip over them. Usher duties. Draperies around the altar. Draperies in the dining room. Draperies in the lounge. Guestbook and pens. Finalised playlist for the processions and the dancefloor later on. Linens. Packaging the wedding favours. Last minute costume alterations.

 

It’s not like they’ve been slacking off and drinking the days away – Kibum thinks they’ve worked at a steady pace that didn’t tire out the wedding party before the wedding itself – but somehow the night before the wedding is still as hectic as if they hadn’t done anything earlier at all. groomsmen and bridesmaids had firmly sent Jonghyun and Nayoung up to bed at midnight. They have to be up at dawn to eat, shower and get their hair and make-up done, so they need rest.

 

It is now 2am. Kibum has given up hope of sleeping before the wedding. There’s still so much to be done that no one had thought of. He’s currently running from table to table in the dining room spritzing the floral centerpieces so that they don’t dry out by lunchtime tomorrow. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Taemin and Sodam moving namecards from chair seats to a more visible location on the tables themselves. It might have been easier if they had professional help, but Jonghyun and Nayoung had wanted a personal touch to the wedding – it would also make it a lot more difficult for sasaengs and press to sneak in – and everyone else, including himself, apparently had no idea how much work a wedding involved.

 

“There, that’s the last one,” Kibum calls out to no one in particular when he’s done with the flowers. “Anything else that needs doing?”

 

“I think Minho wanted your opinion on the curtains around the altar,” Sodam replies. “Apart from that, we’ve covered everything in here.”

 

He gives her a thumbs up and heads to the reception room. In a way, Kibum muses, it’s almost like doing a first full rehearsal for a concert series. He remembers the sleepless nights they used to have, how everything always overran and how issues would only become visible at that late stage even though the concert prep itself would always have begun months earlier.

 

In a way, he enjoys the adrenaline rush.

 

**Aftermath**

 

Kibum is absolutely knackered. It’s been a day full of physical and emotional ups and downs; being a groomsman is far more tiring than Kibum ever imagined it could be. Thankfully, there’s nothing to be done tomorrow and he can sleep in for once. The fruity scent of the ryokan’s shampoo gently wafts up from Taemin’s hair and tickles his sensitive nostrils; Taemin’s dozing lightly on his shoulder. It reminds him of when they were trainees and Taemin would always insist that he hadn’t used Kibum’s shampoo despite smelling like a field of strawberries.

 

Jonghyun’s wedding has made Kibum ridiculously nostalgic. He keeps replaying the moment just before Nayoung had walked down the aisle, when it was just them and Jonghyun standing at the altar waiting for her; Jonghyun was glowing, framed in the natural light streaming in through the windows, almost like star that fallen from the sky and taken human form.

 

He knows that their name – SHINee – is something that the company had come up with to sell them; that the whole shining SHINee thing was, similarly, a spiel to spearhead their marketing. Still, when he thinks of that moment, he thinks of their name and how they have grown from uncertain, immature boys to men who truly do deserve their reputation for shining.

 

Kibum shrugs Taemin off slightly, on a whim, just enough to give himself space to capture Taemin’s lips in a kiss. If it surprises Taemin, he doesn’t show it; he kisses back almost instinctively, welcoming Kibum’s tongue into his mouth when Kibum deepens the kiss.

 

When Kibum is satisfied, he pulls back.

 

“What was that for?” Taemin mumbles.

 

Kibum presses a chaste kiss onto Taemin’s forehead. “Your hair smells nice, that’s all.”

 

Taemin kisses his neck. “You smell nice too. G’night, hyung.”

 

**Shining**

 

“Jonghyun wants you.”

 

Kibum is adjusting Jinki’s collar when Minho comes into the men’s dressing room; he doesn’t specify who the ‘you’ is, but Kibum knows anyway. They all know.

 

“Isn’t this the best man’s job?”

 

Minho shrugs. “I think he just wants help with his suit.”

 

“He was supposed to do me next,” Taemin pouts. He’s still unhappy with the placement of his corsage, although Kibum suspects it’s just a ploy to get more of his attention.

 

Kibum rolls his eyes and goes out into the larger room where Jonghyun is getting dressed; none of them can survive without him, it seems.

 

This isn’t the first time he’s seeing Jonghyun in his wedding suit, but it still takes his breath away. He looks so regal in ivory and gold; the cut of the cloth emphasis his broad shoulders and how straight he stands. He’s wearing his hair up today, teased to perfection with what must have been a whole can of hairspray.

 

“Oh, hey, can you help me with my bow?” Jonghyun’s bow lies untied around his neck. “I can’t seem to get it right.”

 

“Sure.”

 

It should take no effort to tie a bow tie – Kibum’s just done it for Jinki and Taemin – but his hands tremble slightly as he adjusts the tie around Jonghyun’s neck. They’re standing so close; Kibum can smell Jonghyun’s perfume and feel his chest rise with each breath he takes. He studiously avoids Jonghyun’s eyes, focusing instead on his bow tie.

 

But Jonghyun is never the type to make things easy.

 

“Kibum-ah…”

 

“What?”

 

“I know you better than anyone,” Jonghyun says, softly. “I know this isn’t easy for you. It isn’t easy for me too. It stopped being easy for me the moment you came here.”

 

Kibum loses his breath. “Jjong, no.”

 

“I’m not getting cold feet or anything, I love Nayoung and I’m going to marry her today. But I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling that there was something between us, something that might have grown into more than we allowed it to, and I’ll always wonder what that might have been like.” Jonghyun takes his hand. “So thank you for being here. Thank you for standing by my side and being happy for me. I promise you that when your turn comes, I’ll fly to whatever country you’re in and stand by your side and be happy for you too.”

 

It’s the closes they’ve ever come to confessing to each other. Kibum adjusts Jonghyun’s bow tie one last time and straightens his jacket too, buying himself some time to get this thoughts in order. “I guess, it does hurt sometimes, because we could have been more, and even if we didn’t work out at least we’d have tried, but we never allowed ourselves that. I guess, like you, I’ll always wonder what could have been. But that doesn’t mean that I’m jealous or unhappy or bitter. I am so, so happy for you. I really am. More than I know how to say.”

 

“Thank you.” Jonghyun touches his bow tie and checks himself out in the mirror. “You tied it perfectly.”

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

Kibum makes the twirl gesture and Jonghyun obligingly turns for him, showing off his suit. It fits him so well. But more than that, Jonghyun’s happiness fits him well. Kibum has seen him struggle with himself, with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, and he knows how difficult it was for Jonghyun to heal from that. He wants to tell Jonghyun how proud he is, how he could never begrudge Jonghyun this happiness, but he’s not the wordsmith between them.

 

Instead, he shows his affection the way he always does. “Waahhh, you look handsome. Your mother is definitely going to cry when she sees you. Please try not to cry too until the photographer has photos of both you and Nayoung at the altar.”

 

It’s a language Jonghyun knows well how to decipher; that’s why they’re soulmates. “You all tease me about this… just wait, you’ll be the ones crying first.”

 

“Can you even imagine Taemin crying?” Kibum drapes an arm over Jonghyun’s shoulders, carefully, so as not to rumple his suit. “Come on, let’s get you married.”

 

~o~

 

_hi everyone!_

 

_i've been working on this fic for a pretty long time actually. i hope it doesn't offend or upset anyone, or that it doesn't come across as flippant. as a fan, there is nothing i could have done to change what happened. as a writer, i can write him a thousand happy endings, even if they are just fictitious ones._

 

_writing this fic made me so very happy. i hope reading it brings you at least a small measure of that happiness._

 

_as always, comments are welcomed._

 

_love,_

 

_sherleigh_

 


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